All in all, I had a wonderful weekend. Were it not for one particular incident {which didn't even happen to me}, however, my weekend could've been SPECTACULAR! But, NO. There was an asshole who felt a need to be his entire supremely assholey self toward a good friend of mine, and thus became a festering asshole to my friend's boyfriend as well. I was looking forward to spending time with these friends, and my friends were looking forward to getting to see us and some of the rest of their friends, have some fun, and hang out. That my friends were denied this was more than enough to piss me off; that I was denied the chance to see them as planned, pissed me off even more.
On Friday evening, I went to the airport to pick up my friend's Scott & Lauri, who were returning from a very much needed, last-minute surprise vacation. I gave them a ride to our friend Tony's condo, where they are currently living, and I spent a bit of time hanging out with the three of them, catching up, talking, and playing games. The plan for the rest of the weekend {as Saturday night was Bear Night @ CC's} was that they would stop in for a bit to see us and some other friends, and just, in general, hang out for a bit while we all celebrated Bear Night in our usual revelry.
We arrived at the bar somewhere between 7 and 7:30, and began our general hanging out. This included a drink or two, natch. An hour or so-ish later, as we stood out on the patio, I'm informed by Anthony that Lauri had been told he couldn't enter the bar because of his Estonian ID. I'd not yet checked my own mobile to see the message that Scott had left me, telling me what he'd told Anthony. I replied something about that being some bullshit, and, in that particular moment, didn't think anything else about it. UNTIL, the next message from Scott saying that they were leaving because the doorman was being a dick about Lauri's ID. I was caught up in the mystery of the Malibu&Cranberry concoctions on which I'd been sippin', and even mo' caught up with the freshness of the fine, furry fellas all up 'n thru the bar, so I wasn't in the proper frame of mind to think the situation out. Therefore, I stayed where I was, assuming that the doorman could clearly see that Lauri was over the age of 21 and therefore his entering the bar shouldn't have been an issue; by the time I realized that Scott & Lauri had already, in fact, turned away, righteously pissed off, and headed home, it was a bit late to even consider intervening. So, I admit, I continued on with what (and whom) I'd been carrying on...
Here's what transpired:
Scott & Lauri walked thru the door and were asked for ID from the doorman; I'm assuming that CC's, for the most part, was doing its part in making sure that patrons of the bar had proper ID on them while in the bar, as CLEARLY 98% of the clientele looked obviously over the age of 21, w/ more than half of those being well above the age of 33. [For the record, I commend CC's for making sure folks had ID on them, regardless of being 'obviously' old enough to drink.] BUT, this particular doorman apparently had some issues with the world outside of North America, and took it upon himself to allow his personal ignorance control a situation that should've been handled with training, no-how, and tact, all of which he seems to lack. When Lauri presented his ID to him he said {according to Scott} "You're lucky I'm going to let you in here with that." -- as if Lauri's official, Estonia-issued ID was some kind of attempt at fraud. Lauri, quite rightly, was offended by this, and asked ""I can go?" to which the doorman replied "Yeah, you can." as he handed Lauri back his license and pointed to the door, effectively telling him to leave. Well, Scott certainly wasn't going to remain inside while his boyfriend was just told to leave and made to feel like shit; he left as well, and as they walked back to their car, Scott tried to pump up his now-deflated BF, telling him "That guy is an ignorant dickhead," but it did absolutely nothing to lift Lauri's spirits ~ he became more and more pissed as they walked away. As well he should have been...
Once I found this out, I wish that I had had the presence of mind to step up when the chance was there, not necessarily to cause a scene, or to pull any strings {'cause I've no strings to pull}, but to at least vouch for them. But it would have been futile, I'm sure, because a moron in 'power' is hard to sway...
See, I've worked in retail and/or grocery customer service for most of my life: over 22 of my 38 years have been spent working and dealing with the public. And even in my bitchiest, ballsiest, most "back tha fuck up off me!" moments, I always knew how to effectively do my job and give people a good experience that would make them want to return. Having spent a majority of those years as a cashier, I've had extensive training on how to handle a person's ID; growing up in the South, there wasn't a lot of need for training on handling International IDs, but I got that training when I moved to Seattle 3 years ago. It's really not that hard, regardless where the ID is from, as all you need to do is verify that the photo 'looks like' the person who handed you the ID, and check the date-of-birth to make sure they're of age to do/purchase what it is they wish to do/purchase. Plain and freakin' simple, right? A few places I've worked even recommend making small talk with the patron while you're perusing their ID card, which is good when faced with an ID from a state or country you've never seen before, as you try to locate the DOB which is often not in the same spot on cards from state to state/country to country. Hell, if need be, you can even ask them to point it out! That's all it takes: make sure the person IS who their card says s/he is, and that they're old enough to do what they're tryin' to do.
Clearly, Saturday evening's CC's doorman wasn't too keen on his International Studies and hasn't heard of the country of Estonia. [No fault there, as I'd heard very little, if anything, about it until I met Lauri, who hails from there.] But, instead of making Lauri feel welcome and doing his job {greeting him properly}, he felt a need to cover his ignorance and say something insulting and demeaning when it was totally uncalled for.
With the number of Canadians that were in the bar that night, it was obvious that you don't have to have a US-issued ID, so that couldn't have been the problem...
Lauri is a grown-ass man and would most likely not be mistaken by anyone for being a minor, so THAT couldn't have been the problem.
But, even aside from all that, during the moments when I was back by the entrance, SEVERAL people slid right in without being asked for ID: sure they stopped and got ready to present theirs, but as the doorman was looking at the ID of the guy at the front of the line, some would either go ahead and walk on into the bar proper, where they had friends waiting for embraces, or they simply walk on in to the damn bar and do what they came to do as they slid their unchecked IDs back into their wallets/pockets.
And that's not even mentioning the fact that before 7 or whatever time the doorman starts working, all you gotta do is walk in ~ BECAUSE THERE AIN'T NOBODY CHECKING JACK SHIT AT THE DOOR UNTIL HE GETS THERE!!! So, truly it's not that deep...
So, as it's looking to ME, door-dude is a dumb-assed, dick-headed douche-bag who felt a need to be rude to a customer, impugn his veracity and personage, and make him never want to even think about going into that particular bar again.
I don't know if Lauri will ever go back to CC's. I think he should and that, at the very least, CC's owes him a drink AND an apology. But as it stands right now, he's not feeling any good things toward making those steps to come in. He's pissed and very rightly so.
May seem a small thing to some, but it's about as real as it gets; he's not new to the country, as he comes and lives with Scott for 6 months at a time. If we homosexuals could get married, he'd be able to stay here and be with the man he loves and who loves him. But, no, 'we' don't wanna allow that. He's reduced to being made to feel like a third rate 2nd class citizen.
Then, on top of all that, he's told he can't even step into a bar for a drink and to hang with friends? THAT is some serious bullshittery.
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